How To Have A Baby Like A Royal

The young, royal couples of the world are fascinating to watch. They live lives so different from ours yet we know, deep down they’re regular people who have dreams, fall in love, start families and have to navigate parenthood just like the rest of us. Meghan and Harry certainly stay in the headlines as a result of and in spite of their tendency to create boundaries, seek privacy, and buck tradition. When I found out Meghan was expecting, and then learned they’d welcomed Archie, I wondered if my girls would have as big of a crush on him (or George or Louis) as I did on Prince William. True and mortifying story – I used to bring FRAMED photos of Heath Ledger and Prince William to sleepovers at my friend Susan’s house so I could prop them up as future husband inspo while we were playing the board game LIFE. A lot to unpack there, but how she’s still my friend, I may never know because that level of extra is a lot to put up with! My middle school dreams did not come true, and while I did marry my own prince charming, I am not officially a member of the royal family. Archie’s christening over the weekend not only had me looking back at Catherine’s celebration from just a few weeks ago, but also had me thinking about how these new parents have navigated pregnancy and the first few months of Archie’s life. Royal or not, I think there are some great takeaways that we can look at and learn from. 

1. Take care of yourself.

While on tour and early on in her pregnancy, Meghan took some time off. Each time Kate has had to do this as well in a more prescribed way due to her hyperemesis gravidarum. But pregnancy has some serious ups and downs whether you’re a royal or not so if you’re expecting, be like Meghan and Kate do what you need to do to have the safest and most comfortable pregnancy you can. This goes for the post-partum period as well. Baby Archie is two months and Meghan has only been seen at a few public appearances. It was hard to get out of the house after both girls but when I needed to, or wanted to, I did it. Otherwise I was in comfy clothes, cuddled up with my babe, watching Bravo and I hope Meghan got the chance to do the same. They’ve made it clear that she is taking a maternity leave and though leave policies here in the U.S. are minimal (let’s change that) and vary widely, take as much time as you can – including your partner. The newborn stage is precious but rough, and everyone needs time to adjust.

2. Consider a surprise. 

Traditionally royals don’t reveal the sex of the baby until after their bundle has officially made their debut and while that was never me – during both my pregnancies I wanted to know as soon as possible if we were having a boy or girl – I can see the other side of the coin and always wonder what it would’ve been like to be surprised. I was shocked when one of my best friends got pregnant and she chose to be surprised. I thought she might cave, but she never did. She told me she’d always dreamed of her husband telling her in the delivery room, “It’s a …” and that’s what she got. One of life’s few true surprises with a happy ending either way. 

3. Pick whatever name you want.

Like many, I was thrown for a loop by the choice of Archie. To clarify, I LOVE the name Archie, I was just surprised that it wasn’t short for Archibald or something more official. But Archie is what they chose and you know what? He. Is. Not. My. Child. So no one asked me. Naming a baby is quite an experience, even if you aren’t a royal. We chose not to share our names until we were really sure and for our oldest, Margaret, that was after she was born and we were leaving the hospital – picking a name was just an overwhelming prospect. For Catherine, we lit on something while I was pregnant to help Margaret bond with the idea of her baby sister as a person with a name. Your child’s name is deeply meaningful and personal and at the end of the day it is up to the parents to make that choice. I err on the side of traditional and family names, but above all else I love a good story. 

4. You don’t have to do it how “it’s always been done”… 

Unlike those before her, we didn’t know Meghan’s birth plan ahead of time. And while she didn’t wait that long – 48 hours – before getting glam and introducing us to Archie, Meghan and Harry have broken away from royal protocol quite a few times and I think if they can stand up to hundreds of years of “this is how we’ve always done it” then we all can. It is clear they’ve taken the approach to experience these milestones in private and then share them with the public. There have been minimal public appearances, they’ve kept the identity of the godparents under wraps, they are setting boundaries at the cost of a lot of backlash – and the media frustration is especially geared toward Meghan. But it seems to me that they have their priorities and are on the same team and I think that kind of unified approach to setting healthy boundaries is something we all can do to have a baby like a royal. 

5. … but find a place for tradition.

As much as I am thrilled to see Harry and Meghan break away from “how it has always been done” as a way to create healthy boundaries for their family, I also appreciate the way they’ve honored tradition. Their wedding was filled with sentimental nods to both of their heritages and legacies and the christening did the same. Archie was baptized at Windsor, the same grounds where Meghan and Harry were married and where Harry had been christened. Archie wore the replica gown that was made to look like the heirloom christening gown donned by royals since the 1800s. Meghan wore the earrings she wore as a bride. Kate wore earrings that Princess Diana wore to Harry’s baptism. The royal family is so good at subtly honoring tradition, it can be fun to keep an eye out for their cues. 

I know the christening, along with so many of their choices, has been hotly debated in the media, but I think Harry and Meghan seem to be a couple instep with one another who prioritizes the needs of their little family. As a relatively new parent myself, I can relate to their quest to make clear the needs of their family and seek a way to do so in a manner that is both respectful but intentional. I think that for all of the hoopla the ceremonial aspects of their life gets – and believe me, I’m there for it all (wardrobe details, attendees, etc…) – Harry and Meghan’s tenderness and earnest efforts to find their way is relatable to many young families around the world, and I’ll continue to watch and root for them.