I’m starting to talk a bit more intentionally about my relationship with food and share a little more about an on-going quest to repair it after years spent sucked into the diet culture mentality. There was a strong foundation laid in elementary and middle school, from social and environmental influences, to classmate commentary. I was always taller and bigger, but ironically I wasn’t overweight, clinically speaking, until years after my first attempt at dieting started.
And the conversation about diet culture and my experience with it is directly tied to size inclusive fashion. Even before I was truly plus-sized I felt excluded from mainstream fashion. In late elementary and middle school I quickly grew out of Gap Kids and Limited Too. Abercrombie and American Eagle sometimes had options, but plenty of times the biggest sizes were still not the best fit. Wet Seal, Delia’s, and Alloy were the same story. About the time I’d started occasionally experimenting to see how long I could go each day without eating, my mom took me to my pediatrician so I could see, with my own eyes, how unproblematic my weight was. It was shocking to reconcile the fact that I felt enormous with hard data in front of me, but it wasn’t enough to soften my desire to be smaller. So I continued to diet. And the lack of options in clothing represented the indirect message I heard each time I went shopping which was “you’re too big.”
The professional help I’ve received as an intervention for the Generalized Anxiety Disorder I recognized in my late 20s, also identified my disordered eating habits and I am so thankful for the continued guidance of health care professionals who are reliable and supportive resources. If you feel you are struggling with disordered eating, please reach out to your primary care physician and begin to receive the appropriate and necessary care.
My goals related to food and exercise continue to evolve. And there are changes that need to be made, that I am working towards. But they have nothing to do with the size on my tag. There is a very realistic chance that as I meet my goals, that size will change. But in the meantime, I deserve to look nice and feel good in my clothes. I will wear bathing suits and jump around on the beach with my girls. If I like a dress or a top I’m not going to let the fact that it’s sleeveless stop me from wearing it. I want to look cute at girls night and on dates with Curtis. And long ago I thought if I punished myself by refusing to reward my bad behavior (that behavior being weight gain) with new clothes, that I might shame myself into a smaller size.
So here’s to the brands working toward size inclusivity. Many of these have made the effort to collaborate with me and other bloggers in the extended size range because they value body diversity and understand not only the economic impact it has, but the social impact as well. Almost 100% of these I personally shop and can speak to, and the rest come highly recommended. Happy shopping friends, I hope as you do, that you remind yourself that you deserve to feel lovely and comfortable and happy and confident and pretty and powerful at any size and that if the size on your tag changes, may it be because of how much you loved yourself, and not the opposite.
XL/XXL
- Lilly Pulitzer
- Sail To Sable
- Chico’s
- Ann Taylor (online)
- Gap (online)
- Banana Republic (online)
- Sheridan French
- Hillhouse
- Wonderfully Made Clothing Company
- Shop OnHoliday
- Sarah Bray Bermuda
- Ala Von Auersperg
- Marie Oliver
- Pearly Vine
- Mi Golondrina
- La Vie Style House
- Roller Rabbit
XXXL
- Tuckernuck
- Sail To Sable, collaborations with Style Charade by Jennifer Lake
- Boden
- Frances Valentine
0X – 3X
- Athleta
- Vineyard Vines
- Land’s End
- Draper James
- Target
- Anthropologie
- Talbot’s
- JCrew
- Tanya Taylor
- Eloquii
- 11 Honore
- Loft
- Old Navy
- Good American
- Print Fresh
- 10 Honore
- HM
- Modcloth
3X +
Department Stores
Swimwear
- Summersalt (Sizes 0 – 22)
- Mott 50 (XL fits up to 16/18)
