Like many party planning parents, over the past few years I’ve turned to Google to answer questions like:
- What is a good theme for a one year old in the month of January?
- What are good activities for a two year old birthday party?
- Should we say “no gifts”?
- Should I have a birthday party?
- Why did I decide to have a birthday party again?
But seriously – it is a conversation I’ve had so often and not just with the Google search bar but with friends and family trying to figure out our birthday celebration philosophy -not to sound dramatic by using the word philosophy about a child’s birthday party. Then once you decide to throw a party, figuring out who to invite, what to do and when to do it!
I know how much it helps me to peek into parties of others, I am excited to share on here all the details of Margaret’s Magical 5th Birthday in this post. Below is more of an outline on how we’ve made the party decisions we’ve made over the past few years.
Do you even want to throw a party? We decided to have a big 1st birthday for Margaret and I think that set the stage for our future philosophies. Especially when they’re baby babies, we see the 1st birthday as an opportunity to celebrate the overall excitement of marking a year with our sweet baby and doing so surrounded by the community of people who helped make the time special which includes a lot of friends. I completely understand and respect the many people in our lives who choose to do a quiet, family only celebration and I think the worst parties are the ones you don’t want to throw, so don’t force something you don’t really want. I’d heard the philosophy of only inviting as many kids as years your child is turning (so one kid for one years old, two for two years old and so on) so we were nervous that Margaret would be overwhelmed by a large crowd, but that was not the case. We also crossed this bridge again in September when deciding what to do about Catherine’s first birthday “pawty” and while she takes longer to warm up to a crowd, she gets into it! If that changes for either of them, so too will our philosophy. So each year we’ve thrown some sort of large party that is as all-inclusive from a guest-list perspective as possible.
Give them the choice. Starting last year we gave Margaret the choice of whether or not she wanted a party or an experience. Given that what she mainly wanted for Christmas was a plane ticket to visit our friends in Texas, we know she values experiences. But last year and this year she chose a party and was all-in on that choice which makes the planning worth it.
Gifts or No Gifts. Margaret and Catherine want for nothing so this has been on my mind since literally day one. For now we’ve decided yes to gifts. We experimented one year with “No Gifts” and half the people brought them anyways and then literally everyone felt weird and awkward. My friends will ask what they need/want/don’t need. For now this is an opportunity for Margaret to practice gratitude, have fun getting new toys, giving away toys someone else can enjoy, and when the time comes, picking out gifts for other friends and loved ones. This is one of those evolving philosophies that as their ages and needs change, perhaps so will our approach to this.
What is your vision for the party? We talk about what we imagine it to look like and feel like – almost setting an intention for the party. This helps guide us in our decision making so the focus is on our vision. Our “why” are we doing this is clear – because Margaret will enjoy it and we’re excited to celebrate with her and our friends. Beyond that, once Margaret picked out her theme, we wanted the party to feel like a play date on steroids.
Where and when are we having it? We typically have her party the weekend before her birthday. We’ve done a Friday afternoon, Saturday and Sunday. From a timing perspective we work around her and her little guests’ nap needs, as well as whether or not we intend to serve a meal. This year we chose lunchtime which worked well. I love having parties at our home but we wanted to be able to invite both Pre-K classes and not sweat it if siblings came, or someone had in-laws in town who wanted to join in. From a cost perspective, I think whether you have it at home or elsewhere, you spend your money in different places. At home you can save money by being in control of food and drinks and but you have to figure out some entertainment for the location – what are the kids going to be doing? For Margaret’s second birthday, we did a joint party with our next door neighbor and hired a little train to drive the kids around the neighborhood. We sprawled out over our two front lawns (the company threw in a bounce house for next to nothing and the kids bounced till they were pooped). When she was three we had a petting zoo in our back yard and a bounce house in our front yard. I thought I’d hired fluffy barn yard animals like rabbits and goats but I’d booked an “exotic package” that included a llama and a wallaby amongst other (still precious) creatures. We knew we were going to be moving from Texas in just a few months and this party served not just as a birthday party but as last hoorah with the best of friends. Last year when Margaret turned four, with Catherine just a few months old we decide to have her party at Jungle Gardens and the entertainment was the location. We loved our party there and for anyone in the area would whole-heartedly recommend it.
Have party decor you can play with. We tend to pick one thing as an “official favor” and throughout the party the kids get to play with and take home other items that become a part of the day. Last year at Jungle Gardens we had pith helmets and binoculars for the kids to take plus animal themed sunglasses. This year we had a dress up station where kids could pick out whatever costumes they wanted and take home whatever their hearts desired. It was a pretty little set up that looked good, but also interactive. This was also our thought process with the pop-up princess carriage and tent – they were relatively inexpensive, the kids played with them during the party, and they look cute!
Prepare for the environment you’re going to be in. Last year we had sunscreen and bug spray just in case. When we had the petting zoo we made sure to have ample hand wipes and sanitizer available. This year I could’ve used hand wipes at the unicorn horn making station because of all the icing, but forgot them and we survived.
Use things from around your home. I like to pull things from our house and our real life to incorporate into the party. For the train party with my neighbor, we pulled out play stuff from our houses like little tents, kids tables, toys and tubes to crawl through, so the front lawn was like one giant play space. At her 3rd birthday we created animal adoption tables with some stuffed animals we got on Amazon. I typed up some signs and then pulled out all of Margaret’s doctor kit stuff to make a “veterinarian station”. When we’re not at home, I know I look ridiculous rolling up with totes full of random things from our house- but I just like the touch of character and fun it gives. Chances are if you picked a certain birthday theme it is because your child is into that particular thing (like cats for Catherine’s 1st birthday) and that likely means you already have things you can use to decorate. This year Margaret helped me go around the house and find things to use, like princess, dragon and unicorn themed books and accessories and those were around the room on the tables i particular.
Find small $$$ ways to make a big impact. This year we had a big empty space so we went with balloons – they’re cheerful and say “party”. The big round ones are more expensive to fill up, but we felt like they were worth it. We’ve also found that inflatables can be a fun way to add a punch of theme to the decor. This year we used unicorns, and last year we did flamingo cup holders.
Reuse party decor from year to year. We have banners and signs from birthdays past that we throw up each year. Margaret’s party hat always adds a personal touch of whimsey like to the flamingo last year and the unicorn this year! We have “Happy Birthday Margaret cups” that we use each year as well.
Pinsperation not perspiration. What I mean is that it has never been easier to find inspiration for anything you’re dreaming of thanks to sources like Pinterest. But I try to use those resources with a healthy dose of perspective. If you want to get crafty and hands on then go for it – but not at the risk of sucking the joy out of the celebration. Keep that mission statement of the party at the heart of planning – your “why” – and it’ll help!
Remember your why. Go back to the beginning of this novel of a post and really hear me when I say that one of the biggest things Curtis and I do is make sure we tune in on the “why” we’re throwing this party, or any party, (like Catherine’s Baptism Luncheon) in the first place. That kind of intentional conversation about it serves as our compass and keeps us on our priorities. We entertain because we enjoy it, because it connects us to our loved ones, because Margaret looks forward to it and values it, and because we’re always glad we did. But I am sure there will be seasons when a large scale party is not a fit for a variety of reasons and we’ll be quick to honor that as well.
