If you had told me a year ago that this was the post I’d be writing on my one year anniversary of blogging, I would have been intimidated. There were so many things holding me back from blogging including a toxic internal monologue of insecurities and fears.
One of those fears eating at me, would I be able to find the decency to speak to meaningful and urgent issues while also sharing and connecting on the superficial and lighthearted? The two lanes seem mutually exclusive, but those who know me offline would likely agree that I am a mix of both, because aren’t most of us? We’re trying to resist the urge to spend all our money at Homegoods and the Dollar Spot, while trying to raise and be good humans, attending to our own inner transformations that are necessary in order to affect that type of change.
These past few weeks have been heavy and alongside many of my peers, we have been wrestling with our biases and thinking through how to move urgently forward toward progress. Many have been doing so in a very public way, and many have been doing so more privately. My struggle to find the words is born from my concern over giving the impression that I feel as though centuries of systemic oppression can be reduced to “a few hard weeks”. Nor do I want to appear to be over simplifying by sharing what I have to offer. And I’ll be damned if anyone thinks I’m under the false impression that there is a “normal” to return to, because normal for me would be a place where I was too comfortable in silence. Normal isn’t working.
In The Hamlin Home
Our life is not particularly diverse and this is something I’ve wrestled with since we started talking about having children. Maybe it is more diverse than others, maybe it isn’t, I don’t really know – but I do know we think about it and we actively respond to that reality. And one way we do that is through play since we know that is one of the most meaningful learning opportunities in a child’s life.
When Margaret turned one she started getting baby dolls as gifts. One day I was looking at them and realized they’re all white. The next time I was in Target, I picked out a black baby doll. Margaret wasn’t a huge baby doll fan in the first place but I can tell you she really didn’t want to play with her new baby and I was pretty dramatic about it. I thought, great job Grace, your one-year old is already racist. Over time, she started playing with her black baby doll who she eventually named Baby Rose. Then when she was 3, we went shopping (Target, again) so she could pick out her first Barbie and she picked a black pediatrician. Now cut to Catherine who has only known a diverse doll selection, and she LOVES baby dolls by the way, and interestingly enough she has never shown any preference to a color and plays with all of the dolls. This is not a pat myself on the back moment, nor do I feel like baby dolls are a panacea for the sickness we’re confronting. I am telling you the very real story from a white home where we went from Margaret actively rejecting the baby doll that didn’t look like her, to actively selecting a black Barbie in a sea of blonde hair, blue-eyed choices. In between those two years for Margaret were books, movies, and TV that reflect the diversity of the world, as well as meaningful relationships with people of color.
As I said, children learn through play, and having diverse toys and books around are not a band-aid solution or an excuse to avoid the subject, rather they are an opportunity to organically talk about race in your home and actively see representation that is different from themselves.
Here are a few selections of baby dolls, Barbies, books, and other items that have made their way into our home.
I just added to the collection the Little Mermaid book below from Olly-Olly, a beautifully curated children’s boutique out of Baton Rouge, LA. The owner, Tamara, takes great care in offering selections that are diverse and inclusive. The links will take you directly to her store to add to your own libraries.
Margaret and Catherine have been reading Highlight Magazines since they were babies! Yes, they have baby subscriptions, isn’t that adorable? They tell stories that represent voices from many cultures, and the content of each edition is diverse and representative.
Additional Actions and Commitments
All proceeds from affiliate links in this post will be donated to: Black Mamas Matter Alliance a non-profit dedicated to equity and provision of maternal health resources, including maternal mental health.
Here is a study on Reproductive Injustice: Racial and Gender Discrimination in the U.S. that was submitted to the U.N.
Additional monetary contributions from our family this week have included:
Furthermore as resources from black activists and creators have been circulating, I encourage you to be mindful of compensating them for their work and time. Many have ways to do so on their Instagram platforms.
We signed up for The Conscious Kid Book Club via Patreon and they send out resources and recommendations for parents seeking to have discussions in their family through a critical race lens.
I am reading White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. It is sold out at a variety of retailers but there are still e-reading options and audio books. And it will be restocked. If you cannot read the whole book yet, here is an article that provides a glimpse.
I’d also recommend, Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together By Beverly Daniel Tatum.
The other personal change I’ve made is becoming more active in signing petitions and contacting leadership. Here is the petition for Breonna Taylor. I encourage you to read, reflect, and sign.
Listening and Learning
The biggest takeaway from the elevation of the national conversation about racial reconciliation is how I can use my voice and my platform, which I consider somewhat new at just one-year-old. I was actively avoiding conversation about race and diversity in a misguided attempt to avoid virtue signaling.
I’ll be living in this space more demonstratively and this is going to take me some time and practice, and requires buy-in from anyone reading this. You’re likely here for lifestyle content. Or you’re here because you’re my mom/ friend and feel somewhat obligated to cheer me on! (Thanks y’all!) And I mostly share content related to clothing, home decor, traveling and motherhood, I am quite sure there is a space for what is right and and essential. And this conversation and subsequent actions are essential.
So happy one year anniversary to all of us. Thank you for being here for conversations big and small. Going forward I am even more sure that together we can continue fostering a space of meaningful dialogue and positive influence.
